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第2章爱无处不在HowtoFindTrueLove(2)
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Atthetime,Ilivedwithabeautifulroommate.Flowerspiledupatourdoorlikesnowdrifts,aontheansweringmaealwaysblinkedinapanickyway,overloadedwithmessagesfromheradmirers.Limousiside,withdateswaitingforherbehindtintedwindows.Inmymind,lovewassomethiintedarition,partshadow,definitelyunreachable.Wheedhappy-lookingcouples,I’dwoheyfoutofollowthemhomefortheanswer.
AfterafewyearsiyIgotmydreamjaboutweddingsfazinecalled7Days。
IhadtofiingengageddwriteuptheirlottoasktersthethingsI’dalwayswaoknow.
Ifouoothequestion“Howdoyouknowit’slove?”
Youkheeverydaythingssurroundiheshadeoflightinthesky,abowlofstrawberries—suddehakiy.
Youkiailsaboutanotherpersoareinsignifiostpeople,seemfasgaoyou.Ooldmehelabouthisfuturewife,fromherhandwritingtothewayshescrattheirapartmentdoor,likeashee.Onebridesaidshefellihherfiancebeenight,amothwasflyingaroundalightbulb,aitathewindow.Isaid,‘That’sit.He’stheguy.’”
Youalsoknowit’slovewhenyou’tstoptalkiher.AlmosteverycoupleI’veeverihatoorseddate,theytalkedforhoursandhours.Forsome,fallinginloveislikewalkingintoasoundproofalbooth,aplacewhereyoutellall.Findinglovebelikedisgagildedballroomohersideyapartment,aimelikefindingapairofgreatoldbluejeansthatareexactlyyoursizeandseemasifyou’vewornthemforever.I’ttellyouhowmaoldmetheykheywereiheyfottoaroundtheirboyfrieheyfellateasehangingaroundhiminflannelpajamas.There’ssomemoderntruthtoderella’stale—it’slovewhenyou’veincrediblyfortable,thesperfectly.
Finally,Ithinkyou’veinloveifyoumakeeachhattheveryworsttimes—whentheIRSisauditingyouorwhenyavertibleinarainstormorwhenyourhairisturninggray.Assomeooldme,90pertofbeinginloveismakiher’slivesfunnierahewaytothedeathbed.
SevenyearsagoIstartedwritingaboutloveandweddingsfortheimesinancalled“Vows”
。
AndnowthatIhavebeenof,astrahinghashappened:I’msideredaohis,loveisstillmostlyamysterytome.TheonlythingIfidentlysayisthis:Loveisasplentifulasoxygen.Youdohin,naturallyblond,super-successful,soed,knowledgeableaboutpolitiparticularlygtofindit.
&ervielenontheirlueveryway—aballerinawithis,aphysicistwhohadbeeed)disastrousblinddates,aetplayerwhowasasingledadandcouldbarelypaytherent.Butlove,whentheyfhthumor,dlelight,home-eals,fuure,poetryandloionsintotheirlives.
Whenpeopleaskmewheretofiellastoryaboutoneofmyfirstjobiwaswithaafamazine.Ihadnoexperienceorskills,aforonesesiderhirihegavemesomeadviceIwill.Hesaid,“Gooutintotheworld.Workhardaeonwhatyoulovet.Ifyoubeegood,wewillfindyou.”
That’seoplelookingforlovetowaitforthat“Iwoery”
feeling-ait!
Doiclesaboutho,seduotizeamate.Don’tworryaboutyourlipstickht,becauseit’snotgoingtomatter.Justliveyourlifewell,takecareofyourself,anddooomuch.Lovewillfindyou.
&uallyiteve28,Imetmyhusband.Atastatioore,Iwasbuyierribbon,andhewaslookingatFilofaxes.Irememberthathiseyesperfectlymatchedhisfadedjeahatmysneakerswerefullofsaalksaboutthosesneakersandhowtheyevokedhischildhood—boheonthesandinahosethingsthathecherished.
HowdidIknowthatitwastruelove?Ourfirstrealdatelastedforninehours:wejust’tstoptalking.Ihadodanmylife,butIcewithhim,perfestep.Ihavelear’slovewhenyoufinallystoveryourtoes.
&erwemet,>
Ihaveetocherishwritingthe“Vows”
oryIhear,Ihaveproofthatlove,optimism,guts,grace,perfeersandgoodlufact,exist.Love,inmyopinion,isnotafantasy,uffofromanovelsorfairytales.It’sasgrittyahesubway,itesaroundjustasregularly,andaslongasyoustickitoutoform,youwon’tmissit.
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